By this time last year, I had already returned home from school for the National Day holiday, and after the holiday, it was time for the final sprint for the postgraduate entrance examination. This year, I finally made it to SHU, but due to the epidemic prevention policies, I won't be going home. Time flies.
Last night, I dreamt about taking the postgraduate entrance exam and being scolded by the teacher. I didn't pass and I'm preparing for the second attempt. When I woke up, I realized that I'm still studying, and I was drenched in sweat.
What I've been listening to recently
"The Daily Life in the Hutong Small Store" - Although it's about the hutongs in Beijing, it still resonates with me as someone from a small county town. I've listened to several episodes in a row, recalling the scenes of holding coins and buying snacks at the small store when I was a child. Back then, if someone had five or ten yuan as pocket money every day, they were considered wealthy. Now, people are hard to satisfy.
"Endless Chatter" - In this week's VOL39, they talked about what to do when feeling unhappy. Yesterday, while walking in the rain, I heard Fei Jie say that he has changed himself now, "Look at what others have at the bottom, rather than simply looking at what material possessions they have." It reminded me of my recent emotions.
In March, I thought as long as I could get admitted, it would be fine. But now, I envy others who have scholarships while I don't. I feel regretful. During a meeting, when everyone introduced themselves and mentioned their alma mater, I felt embarrassed to speak up. This week, the teacher notified everyone in the group about a meeting, except for me and another classmate. I started to think that maybe the teacher thinks that students from our university have better qualities, and I'm really not as good as others. When I was reading at night, I felt a bit down. When it comes to actually doing something, I might start complaining that I'm not as good as doing my own thing.
Let me recommend some podcasts that I've been listening to: "Comedian Chat", "Passerby Catching Horses", "Goodnight Ami"... I really like putting on headphones before going to bed and listening for a while. It might be more interesting than mindlessly scrolling through short videos. Watching too many short videos makes me numb. (Also, remember to take off your headphones. Wearing headphones for a long time is not healthy.)
Shopping
After buying some equipment during the summer vacation, I've been looking at keyboards and monitors recently. I sent the previous monitor to my workstation, but I feel uncomfortable looking at a small screen in the dormitory. I still want to have a monitor in the dormitory for convenience in the morning and at night. Since I didn't receive a scholarship, it's impossible to buy a desktop computer.
I bought an 81-key keyboard with red switches, and I'm quite satisfied with it. It doesn't make too much noise. However, it's a bit exaggerated to bring it to the lab. Compared to the MXKEY membrane keyboard, it's much louder. I also bought a 27-inch, 2K monitor. After using a monitor, I feel that the size of a laptop screen is pitifully small.
Having a monitor makes it more convenient to read documents, and of course, it enhances the gaming experience. In short, more stationery for a poor student.
Ramblings
I don't have any relatives or friends in SHU, and considering the large number of people outside during the National Day holiday, several regions have been notified today that they have become medium-risk areas. I'll just stay in school, read books, and when I feel like resting, I'll go back to my dormitory and lie down. It's quite nice.
Recently, it's the peak season for job hunting, and people around me are complaining about the cold winter of the Internet, worrying about the future two years later... Actually, it's quite strange now. Sometimes hot topics are suppressed, but they are also the traffic of major platforms. Sometimes they are pushed crazily. After you search for a certain keyword, all the subsequent recommendations are related to it.
My roommate complains that computer science is like a new century pitfall, just like biology, chemistry, and materials. I remain silent. It's better to do more than to say more. Only when you have achieved a certain level can you complain. Finding excuses before even starting is truly incomprehensible. Nowadays, people are rushing towards whatever is beneficial to them. There are countless videos like "Master JAVA and C++ in a few months" and so on. When a field becomes saturated, the threshold becomes higher.
I still choose to optimistically believe that studying hard will bring rewards (at least for now).
Yesterday, while reading about computer networks, the book mentioned why the advertised size of a solid-state drive (SSD) is not actually the same as the computer's measurement unit. It answered my previous doubts and gave me a sense of satisfaction. But many times, what we learn is far removed from reality, and there are many reasons for this phenomenon, but let's not discuss it.
Let's live optimistically and pay more attention to ourselves. If we can't reconcile with society, let's reconcile with ourselves.